The theory of attachment, which is not mentioned even ten years ago in Russia, has not been mentioned by psychology training programs today have become quite popular. On the one hand, this pleases, on the other, it causes anxiety, since any theory is simplified and distorted in mass perception sometimes until recognition. A great choice for those who want to get acquainted with this concept – the book of a professor of psychology Jin Mercer “What is affection”.
Everyone explains with affection, miracles are expected from her, she is used in family wars around children and in ideological polemics. Therefore, I am very glad that in Russian a book of professor of psychology Jin Mercer “What is affection is in Russian?”: She is calm, even dry, detailed and emphasized on a scientific way of thinking.
Perhaps for a person who is well familiar with the theory of affection, the book does not contain bright insights and completely new facts and ideas, but to understand confused representations, “lay out on the shelves” and build connections – helps a lot. If someone only gets acquainted with theory, this is a great choice. It is written quite simply, clearly, with many examples.
At the same time, the book is not only about the theory: most of the text is devoted to the practice, the analysis of situations in which adults https://ingaugeofpolkcounty.com/course-titles/, if they are familiar with the theory of attachment, can behave much more carefully and reasonable with children, not to hurt them without the need and not create them and not create them and create themyourself problems for the future.
The theory of attachment helps to “see” what is happening, and act not from the state of despair, but from the position of care
The child goes to the nursery, got to the hospital, worries the divorce of his parents, is simply capricious or angry: all this is the usual life of ordinary families, adults should cope with this and help the child to cope with this. The theory of attachment helps to “see” what is happening, and act not from a state of despair, panic or anger, but from the position of care and protection.
Gene Mercer gives an example of the psychotherapist with a mother using a video: “… Madam in. considered her three -year -old son evil and loving to control everything. The video shows a moment showing how much he does not want to part with his mother. However, she usually interpreted such his behavior as “a desire that everything is by his … expression of his anger”.
After watching the video with the therapist, the woman finally realized: “It seems he is scared … my God! At that moment he was afraid, thought that I would leave and would not return. “. Such an understanding is worth a lot. Of course, I was especially interested in everything that Mercer writes about adoptive children, and there is a lot of such material in the book.
Something caused disagreement (as the statement that up to 8 months of the child would not injure separation from loved ones), but much responded. For example, the idea that the task of foster parents: to rebuild the working model of attachment to a more positive one, to help a child who has experienced the experience of the loss of family and poor treatment, learn to trust people and appeal to them for comfort. And therefore, the training and support of adoptive parents are so important – ordinary experience may not be enough.